All of last week I was in a funk and nothing felt right. It seemed like everything I did just didn't turn out the way I expect. It was just a culmination of bad days in one week. Already I had planned a fun weekend in Missouri (I know, it does seem impossible that you can have fun in Missouri). So I left on Thursday for Springfield to catch up with two of my best friends, who also happen to be one of my favorite married couples.
Catching up with them was great it was wonderful to talk with other people who find the 20's hard and don't know what or where they are called to be. It was a whirlwind 24 hours we had homemade Thai food, stayed up until wee hours of the morning, played 7 Wonders, played Stratego, watch The 100, watched Fuller House, went to Best Buy twice, and even got some mall walking in. Then on Friday we headed back north, to Smithville, to drop off one of my friends and pick up her brother and then off to Men's Retreat.
Men's Retreat was a quick drive and then we jumped right into a fun, thought provoking weekend. I really had the opportunity to wrestle with God about life and about fear. I was able to really have it out with God and He was faithful as ever. God lovingly listened to what I had to say and then showed me the truth of His Word. He showed me that He is bigger than my fears and then he has taken care of my shame. I am made right by the sacrifice He made. Have I heard this before, of course, hundreds of times, but this time is was new again.
Not only did I gain understanding and feel God's love, I had a blast with people that I love. I got to spend the most time with my two friends that came with me and I really got to get closer with them and grow our friendships even more. We played cards, played Avalon, we ate together, we made fun of each other, and we got to fellowship together.
Then after the Men's retreat I got to spend all of Sunday with another one of my best friends and we got to catch up on each others lives. It was great, we experienced nature together, ate Chinese food and played Legendary. All in all this was the weekend I needed and I got to see many of the people I love dearly. I don't know what this next week will hold, but I know that God is with me and my friends are for me.
Monday, February 29, 2016
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
Rugged Places
My soul flows and my heart cries out
I know where I belong with little doubt
To smell the pine and feel the bark
Wholly changed and forever marked
The mountains know and scarcely tell
Where the wolves hunt and elk dwell
Finding that place your spirit knows
The truth, the lies, the highs, the lows
Sweeping vistas and rocky crag
The pure domain of the might stag
Unaltered by the stain of human kind
Revealing beauty to those once blind
Seeking the divine in wild places
Setbacks and troubles one faces
Bringing us to a place of peace
May the rugged places never cease
Monday, February 22, 2016
Beautiful are the Feet...
Those who know me know my feelings towards feet. I hate them, like a lot. I have no idea where this hatred came from, but I have had it as long as I can remember. That entire time I have also found them gross and I want nothing to do with them. I don't even like my own feet.
"For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”"
So then I start to realize how beautiful his feet had become to me, because of what they represented. He is sharing the good news of Christ and reconciliation actively through his life. He is serving those around him, seeking to be an encouragement for people. He has a heart for the Nations and longs to see the gospel reach the ends of the earth. He is willing to give of his time and resources to the work of the kingdom, not because he is obligated to, but because he has had the gospel transform his life. His feet are beautiful for no merit of their own, but for the divine purpose he has been called to.
Yesterday was an unseasonably warm day for February in Nebraska, and as with any warm day people were wearing shorts, t-shirts and even a few chacos. The guy that I meet with was one of these crazy few allowing his feet to the elements. I noticed right away, but I didn't say anything because it is a well established fact that he is a little crazy. I have met with this guy for about a year and a half now and I have had the privilege to see him grow and mature into even more a man of God than when I first met him.
So you may be wondering how this all ties together. It does all come together, I promise.
Both him and I are giving up Facebook for Lent and we are replacing it with praying for the nations in order to make our heart more like God. Last night neither of us had prayed for the five countries assigned for that day so he suggested that we just do it right here and now. Even though it was late and I had an hour drive ahead of me I knew that this would be the most refreshing thing that I would do that day so I agreed.
I started praying for Ecuador and then I handed the book to him so that he can pray for Egypt. Then I bow my head while he is praying. I do this so that I can stay focused, not because I think it makes you more spiritual. So in my effort to stop distraction, God leads my heart on a bit of a rabbit trail when I notice his feet. I started staring at his feet, which admittedly sounds creepy, but then God brought Romans 10:12-15 to mind.
"For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”"
So then I start to realize how beautiful his feet had become to me, because of what they represented. He is sharing the good news of Christ and reconciliation actively through his life. He is serving those around him, seeking to be an encouragement for people. He has a heart for the Nations and longs to see the gospel reach the ends of the earth. He is willing to give of his time and resources to the work of the kingdom, not because he is obligated to, but because he has had the gospel transform his life. His feet are beautiful for no merit of their own, but for the divine purpose he has been called to.
Monday, February 15, 2016
Developing a Heart for the Nations
The Lenten Season is upon us, and for the first time I am celebrating it. In the past I haven't really understood the meaning or the reason that people did it. Recently it was as a time to reflect how our sinful broken state without the gospel, and to reflect on the gift of the cross. I was also told that it is best to give something up that is inhibiting your relationship with Jesus, and to also replace it with some thing that will help you grow closer to God's heart.
I decided to give up something that I rely on too much for entertainment and fulfillment: Facebook. I have used Facebook as an entertainment tool for a very long time. I will often be on there so long that I have to search hard for something new to look at. I also have used it as validation that I am important and that people like me. This is a flawed and self-destructive way of thinking. Our sufficiency should be in Christ and not the way people think of us on Facebook.
I have decided to replace it with praying for the nations of the world, about five a day for the 40 days of lent. This is an effort to draw closer to the heart of God. He loves that nations and so should we. I find, however though that it is harder to love something you know nothing about. So as each day passes I learn about the countries I am praying for. So far this has been great and has started growing my heart for even the nations all around me.
So even though we are barely a week into lent I have high hopes for the life change that is possible.
I decided to give up something that I rely on too much for entertainment and fulfillment: Facebook. I have used Facebook as an entertainment tool for a very long time. I will often be on there so long that I have to search hard for something new to look at. I also have used it as validation that I am important and that people like me. This is a flawed and self-destructive way of thinking. Our sufficiency should be in Christ and not the way people think of us on Facebook.
I have decided to replace it with praying for the nations of the world, about five a day for the 40 days of lent. This is an effort to draw closer to the heart of God. He loves that nations and so should we. I find, however though that it is harder to love something you know nothing about. So as each day passes I learn about the countries I am praying for. So far this has been great and has started growing my heart for even the nations all around me.
So even though we are barely a week into lent I have high hopes for the life change that is possible.
To Return or Not to Return (Stay or not to Stay)
I work at a university and this university offers tuition remission, aka I get my schooling paid for as long as I am willing to pay them back by staying at this university for 2 years after I complete my schooling. Sounds like quite the gig, but am I ready to commit the next 4 years to being in the same place?
This may seem silly to people who have lived in the same place for the last 20 years and it probably is. However, I have never stayed anywhere that long, granted I have been alive for only a whopping 25 years. I fear that if I choose to stay, to pursue this path, that I will be missing the adventures that people say we are supposed to have in our 20's.
My idea is to purse my Masters in Clinical Counseling so that one day I can open a transition house for kids who have spent significant time overseas either servings in the mission fields with their parents (Missionary Kid or MK) or on foreign military bases while their parent(s) are deployed. After meeting with a MK in college I saw the potential need for a place to help third culture kids transition back so they can smoothly transition into college or the work force.
I am still unsure what I will end up doing, but I am starting to realize that I can still have adventures even if I have to travel a bit more or even right where I am. And who knows maybe staying somewhere and putting down roots is the type of adventure I need.
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
Worshipful Fear
The mountains with it's lofty heights.
Its hidden crags and lovely sights.
Standing firm through all the years.
Holding stories of blood and tears.
But in all its snow-capped glory.
Its paths and summits are gory.
Dangerous forces ring its rocky peaks.
Heed its warning whenever it speaks.
Similar and different the vast and might ocean.
Every inch of it is in endless motion.
A source of life for all that breath.
Filled with dreams and death it seethes.
Respect is must if you wish to survive.
You offer up life when into it you dive.
Not a few lives has it's waters claimed.
Even the most skill walk away maimed.
Quick and ever changing is the perilous storm.
A display of pure power in elegant form.
Unspeakable destruction to those in its path.
Stripping the life from all in its wrath.
Needed for growth is its drenching rain.
To produce without it is nearly in vain.
A will of its own, we are at its mercy.
So above us there is no controversy.
Worshipful fear, deserves each one in turn.
This truth I am sharing do not spurn.
A balance must be struck between fear and love.
Though none are as great as God above.
Its hidden crags and lovely sights.
Standing firm through all the years.
Holding stories of blood and tears.
But in all its snow-capped glory.
Its paths and summits are gory.
Dangerous forces ring its rocky peaks.
Heed its warning whenever it speaks.
Similar and different the vast and might ocean.
Every inch of it is in endless motion.
A source of life for all that breath.
Filled with dreams and death it seethes.
Respect is must if you wish to survive.
You offer up life when into it you dive.
Not a few lives has it's waters claimed.
Even the most skill walk away maimed.
Quick and ever changing is the perilous storm.
A display of pure power in elegant form.
Unspeakable destruction to those in its path.
Stripping the life from all in its wrath.
Needed for growth is its drenching rain.
To produce without it is nearly in vain.
A will of its own, we are at its mercy.
So above us there is no controversy.
Worshipful fear, deserves each one in turn.
This truth I am sharing do not spurn.
A balance must be struck between fear and love.
Though none are as great as God above.
The Mountain, The Ocean, and The Storm
We were made in the image of God, we share His attributes and are able to learn more about God and ourselves the more we learn about these attributes. Self exploration, in my opinion, is very valuable and even vital to our relationship with God, but I don't think it is the only exploration we need.
While doing my daily devotions on fear I realized that I didn't know what the fear of the Lord meant. I was pretty sure that it wasn't spending every moment cowering in fear, because that would be an unproductive use of our time that we could be serving God. However, the other day I ran a crossed a phrase that really helped me understand this ambiguous term "fear of the Lord". Worshipful fear it is in Psalm 2:11 in the Amplified Version.
This is when it clicked it is the same idea as the feeling climbers have towards the mountain, surfers have for the ocean, and storm chasers have for the storm. Ask any climber if they love the mountain and they will without a moments hesitation they will say yes. Now as ask them if they fear the mountain and they will reply yes just as quickly. It is this idea that even though they love and respect the mountain they also know that it isn't a thing to be trifled with and death is a real possibility. This is the same for the surfer and the storm chaser as well.
There are stories all the time of people who flippantly engage with the mountain, the ocean and the storm and they end up injured or worse. We even hear stories of people who are prepare and understand what can happen who suffer these fates. The same is true of God when he is disrespected or disobeyed. However, with God there is grace and mercy and we love for it.
From what I can tell there is not one word that can describe this idea and the closest phrase I think I can get is "worshipful fear". This is how I now understand "Fear of the Lord". I may grow into a different understand at some point, but for now this is my understanding of it. God is to be loved and respected, but He isn't something to be trifled with.
While doing my daily devotions on fear I realized that I didn't know what the fear of the Lord meant. I was pretty sure that it wasn't spending every moment cowering in fear, because that would be an unproductive use of our time that we could be serving God. However, the other day I ran a crossed a phrase that really helped me understand this ambiguous term "fear of the Lord". Worshipful fear it is in Psalm 2:11 in the Amplified Version.
This is when it clicked it is the same idea as the feeling climbers have towards the mountain, surfers have for the ocean, and storm chasers have for the storm. Ask any climber if they love the mountain and they will without a moments hesitation they will say yes. Now as ask them if they fear the mountain and they will reply yes just as quickly. It is this idea that even though they love and respect the mountain they also know that it isn't a thing to be trifled with and death is a real possibility. This is the same for the surfer and the storm chaser as well.
There are stories all the time of people who flippantly engage with the mountain, the ocean and the storm and they end up injured or worse. We even hear stories of people who are prepare and understand what can happen who suffer these fates. The same is true of God when he is disrespected or disobeyed. However, with God there is grace and mercy and we love for it.
From what I can tell there is not one word that can describe this idea and the closest phrase I think I can get is "worshipful fear". This is how I now understand "Fear of the Lord". I may grow into a different understand at some point, but for now this is my understanding of it. God is to be loved and respected, but He isn't something to be trifled with.
Monday, February 1, 2016
Nature of Christ
As I have been cooped up for a couple months now because of the cold ans winter weather, my heart and soul has started to ache for nature. When I am surrounded by God's creation without human alteration or distraction that is when my soul truly feels free and I am able to truly fellowship with God. Beyond the inspired Word of God, and the testimonies of the saints there is not true display of the grandeur and the power of God than His pure creation.
Psalm 19:1-2 "The heavens declare the glory of God and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge."
As the winter drags on my heart grows ever more anxious to return to God's unaltered creation. John Muir once said "The mountains are calling and I must go" I believe that the mountains are calling for us all, because they want to share the good news of their creator as badly as we should.
So as I prep for more snow, my heart will be longing for where it belongs, communing with The Creator in His pure creation. But as I wait for that time I am thankful that I am able to take refuge in his unfailing word and remember the truths that He has shared with us to help us live our live.
A Birthday is Just Another Day
So I tried to keep an opened mind this year about my birthday. In general I really hate my birthday. Not because I am upset I lived another year, I am glad I am still here. Not because I am unhappy with my life, I am actually doing really well. I have a great girlfriend, wonderful family and caring friends. So you may be confused as to why I hate this day.
It has been this way as long as I can remember. I dread this day for the simple fact that I seem to have friends coming out of the woodwork. I feel very special when my close friends and family do special things for me. But when this person I met in passing that I haven't talked to in 3 years tells me happy birthday, I can't even understand it. Why? Its not going to hurt my feelings, if you don't. I also hate when people feel obligated to tell me happy birthday. That is why I never tell people.
So over all a birthday is just another day, I did nothing special to be celebrated. Wait and celebrate me for a promotion, a graduation, or on some random day just for fun. Lets get over the birthday thing though.
It has been this way as long as I can remember. I dread this day for the simple fact that I seem to have friends coming out of the woodwork. I feel very special when my close friends and family do special things for me. But when this person I met in passing that I haven't talked to in 3 years tells me happy birthday, I can't even understand it. Why? Its not going to hurt my feelings, if you don't. I also hate when people feel obligated to tell me happy birthday. That is why I never tell people.
So over all a birthday is just another day, I did nothing special to be celebrated. Wait and celebrate me for a promotion, a graduation, or on some random day just for fun. Lets get over the birthday thing though.
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