As I have mentioned before, this week is the first of the interviews with real people struggling with depression and anxiety. To begin with, I am going to with defining a term, comorbidity. Comorbidity is "when two disorders or illnesses occur in the same person, simultaneously or sequentially, they are described as comorbid. Comorbidity also implies interactions between the illnesses that affect the course and prognosis of both." ~ NIDA. Often depression and anxiety are comorbid conditions that exist in the same person and cause each of the disorders worse. For example, when someone is depressed they are unable to function properly in work and social situations. With comorbid anxiety, the depression will cause the individual to become anxious about the effects of depression leading to less social interaction. While both depression and anxiety are bad individually they can have a more potent effect working together.
Now to introduce my friend Hannah. She is 23 years old and a manager at a coffee shop. When not at the coffee shop she spends her time crocheting, petting animals, and writing music (Some of which you will get to read and listen to this week). In addition to that, she is an evangelical Christian and is part of her church's praise and worship band. Hannah also struggles with depression and anxiety. Below are the questions that I sent Hannah and her responses.
How long has depression been part of your life?
I can remember what I now think are some mild depressive episodes during my childhood, so it’s been a part of my life for many years.
What are the symptoms that you experience?
I lose most of the ‘happy’ feelings in my life; it feels like I can only experience negative emotions. I tend to withdraw pretty hard from everything except what is necessary to keep a normal appearance. Anxiety is something I have in tandem with depression, so when I’m having an episode I usually have panic attacks fairly regularly. Nothing seems like it has any meaning, and time feels strange like I am running behind in life and alway feel like I’m trying to catch up.
How has depression affected your life?
Before I was on medication, depression and anxiety dictated how I lived. It was hard to go to social functions, I would have to leave classes because of panic attacks, and even simple tasks like driving became almost impossible. All these things just feed a cycle of depression and anxiety because I would feel so angry with myself for not being able to accomplish simple tasks.
What addition problems has it caused?
It made it extremely difficult to create meaningful relationships, and when you have dealt with mental illness for a long time you form mechanisms that are not healthy that you then have to unlearn.
What pushed you to seek out help, if you have? Or what is preventing you from doing so?
When I started to seriously consider suicide I decided to go to counseling.
What type of treatment (counseling, medication, medical procedures) have you received and how did you respond to it?
I have gone to counseling on and off (some more helpful than others) and am now on medication. Meds have been the most helpful thing for me; it improves my quality of life by a vast amount and allows me to do the things I want to do without crippling anxiety. I have been hospitalized once, and it was by far the most traumatic experience of my life. I still have nightmares about it, and I can’t watch tv shows or movies about mental hospitals without getting really anxious.
How have those around you responded to your depression?
There has been a wide range of responses. It’s not like I broadcast the fact that I have mental illnesses, but I don’t shy away from the topic. Some people have been amazingly supportive and some have pushed me away. Especially in the Christian community, I have had several people tell me that depression is not something I should take medicine for and that it’s a sin issue, that I’m not trusting God enough, etc. At the church, I attend now I have had many great conversations about mental health and have generally found people to be accepting and supportive.
Have you seen anything positive come from it?
While I’m not glad I have to go through all the crap that depression brings, I’m glad that I can share my experience with people who are starting to go through an episode or are confused and scared of themselves.
What would you tell people who are curious about depression?
Don’t go read about it online, or listen to a podcast. Go ask someone who has depression to tell you what it’s like and don’t try to give them advice. Just listen to what they have to say.
What do you want to share with those struggling alone with depression?
Don’t do it alone! Find people who won’t just say “oh, it gets better” but people who say “let’s walk together through this, whatever happens.” Find a support system that will celebrate with you when you have victories but also will stand by you when you don’t have any improvements.
If you have any questions for Hannah, let me know and I will relay your questions. In addition to the interview, Hannah also shared some of her music created in response to depression and her take on it. In addition, if anyone is struggling in ways similar to Hannah, I encourage you to reach out to someone who genuinely cares. And as always if anyone wants to take I am more than happy to listen. If you are in need of more immediate help call the number below.
I want to say a quick thanks to Hannah for being willing to share and encourage anyone else who would like to share to reach out to me!
