The Year of Joy

So I have been asked a number of times "What is your New Years Resolution?" and I resolved last year that I would never have one again. I think that it is infeasible to try and commit to something for that long, we are far too fickle creatures. So last year I decided that I would resolve to one new thing each month and then if at the end of the month I wanted to quit I could guilt free. It was a great success.
While I do not want to resolve to change something for an entire year, I have decided that I want a theme for all the month resolutions that I make. The theme for this year is Joy. I want to do only things that bring me joy or things that lead me to things that bring me joy. Last year was a year of dealing with really hard things and starting the healing process. I believe that they next step in the healing process is embracing joy. Joy is not dependent on my circumstances but on my savior and the things he has enabled me to do.
This year I ask for your help as well friends. If you see me doing something or living in such a way that joy is not present pull me aside and ask me about it. There will be circumstances that make me unhappy, but through that joy should still be present. So my prayer and resolution this year are that joy will permeate my life and that I will remain fixed on Him through all trials and tribulations.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

~ Romans 15:13

Image borrowed from http://www.lilblueboo.com/2014/01/the-year-of-joy.html

Grace is Easy, Accepting its Hard

Why do most Christians struggle to accept the grace we have been freely given?

For by grace, you have been saved through faith. 

And this is not your own doing;

 it is the gift of God, not a result of works, 

so that no one may boast. 

Ephesians 2:8-9

This question is a difficult one to answer. Though I believe that people around the world struggle with it, we in the United States have a particularly hard time with this concept. I know that I do. And these three topics I address are the reason that I struggle to accept grace in my own life and the reason I believe that we struggle with it as a country. 

The first part of what stands in our way is ourselves. In the US we have the idea of the America Dream, which at its core is the belief that we can do and become whatever we want if we work hard enough. We believe that we will receive whatever we work for and that we deserve whatever we get. The idea of reaping what we sow has been instilled in us from our earliest days. Some may say, that as a society we love getting things for free, but even in this I believe that we subconsciously think that getting something for free is really a way of the cosmos paying us back for being a good person. Think about it, we accept gifts, no problem, unless they are too big. Once it reaches this threshold we feel guilty. I think this is because it is so generous that we cannot justify why we deserve it. With grace, it is the most generous gift we can ever receive with the highest cost that has ever been paid. There is no way that anyone can justify in their mind that they deserve to have the God of the universe die for them. So to accept grace is to accept our own unworthiness. 

Psalm 31 does an excellent job at explaining the position we must adopt to accept grace:

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;

my eyes are not raised too high;

I do not occupy myself with things

too great and too marvelous for me.

But I have calmed and quieted my soul,

like a weaned child with its mother;

like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, hope in the Lord

from this time forth and forevermore.

Psalm 31

So we are the first thing that stands in the way of us accepting grace easily. The second is the loss of control. This also stems heavily from the American Dream. We like the idea that we are in control of our own lives, it is not until things start falling apart that we start to look outside of ourselves for a cause. In an average conversation overheard in any public place, you can hear people explain how they brought about their good fortune and blame others for any woe they have suffered. Accepting the fact that someone else helped us or provided our good fortune is contrary to our nature. It reveals the biggest lie we believe that no one else actually believes about us. We have no more control over bringing about our salvation that we do about the orbit of the earth or the flow of the tides. Accepting grace leads to the destruction of the illusion of self-sufficiency. God did for us what we could not do for ourselves, we had no control or say in this. It is this fact that makes grace hard for us to accept. 

Then Job answered the Lord and said:

“I know that you can do all things,

and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.

‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’

Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,

things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.

‘Hear, and I will speak;

I will question you, and you make it known to me.’

I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear,

but now my eye sees you;

therefore I despise myself,

and repent in dust and ashes.”

Job 42:1-6

The third thing that stands in our way is fear. This is wrapped up in the other two. Another aspect of the American Dream, though it is never spoken of, is the idea that we are supposed to be fearless in all that we do. Nothing is supposed to unsettle us. Nothing is supposed to give us pause. It's the belief that we are the greatest nation on earth, we can conquer anything without batting an eye, and as a citizen, we should be as fearless as our nation. This is the lie we most easily see through, because even though we would never say it out loud we are terrified. And what are we terrified of the most?Easy, the things that happen outside of our control. The things we could not stop if we tried. The things that no amount of preparation can prevent or hasten. We are scared to trust God because it forces bravery we are not used to. With Him, we have to face our fears, because the more we know him the more we know we are not in control of anything. God can be trusted and He will destroy our fear.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God;

 I will strengthen you, I will help you,

 I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

Grace is hard to accept because to accept it we have to accept so much more. We have to accept that we are undeserving. We have to accept that we are not in control of anything. We have to accept that we are afraid. Grace brings us to our knees, but it is right where we need to be.  

Resources:
Why Is Grace So Hard To Accept? (2012, July 3). Retrieved December 22, 2016, from http://www.truthandway.org/blog/why-is-grace-so-hard-to-accept

McNulty, K. L. (n.d.). IMPACT- The Problem With Grace. Retrieved December 22, 2016, from http://www.madradioshow.net/impact/impactgrace.html

Mayer, M. (2014, September 15). Grace is Hard to Receive. Retrieved December 22, 2016, from http://everysquareinch.net/grace-is-hard-to-receive/

Picture borrowed from http://www.flowingfaith.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/11776.jpg

Every Watch

You will not fear the terror of night,

nor the arrow that flies by day,

 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,

nor the plague that destroys at midday.

~Psalm 91:5-6

I read the above verse for my time with God this morning. I had to post it because it is such a comfort. That we have no need to fear at anytime of the day, because God is always with us. It is just what I needed today.

Beautiful are the Feet...

Those who know me know my feelings towards feet. I hate them, like a lot. I have no idea where this hatred came from, but I have had it as long as I can remember. That entire time I have also found them gross and I want nothing to do with them. I don't even like my own feet.

Yesterday was an unseasonably warm day for February in Nebraska, and as with any warm day people were wearing shorts, t-shirts and even a few chacos. The guy that I meet with was one of these crazy few allowing his feet to the elements. I noticed right away, but I didn't say anything because it is a well established fact that he is a little crazy. I have met with this guy for about a year and a half now and I have had the privilege to see him grow and mature into even more a man of God than when I first met him.

So you may be wondering how this all ties together. It does all come together, I promise.

Both him and I are giving up Facebook for Lent and we are replacing it with praying for the nations in order to make our heart more like God. Last night neither of us had prayed for the five countries assigned for that day so he suggested that we just do it right here and now. Even though it was late and I had an hour drive ahead of me I knew that this would be the most refreshing thing that I would do that day so I agreed. 

I started praying for Ecuador and then I handed the book to him so that he can pray for Egypt. Then I bow my head while he is praying. I do this so that I can stay focused, not because I think it makes you more spiritual. So in my effort to stop distraction, God leads my heart on a bit of a rabbit trail when I notice his feet. I started staring at his feet, which admittedly sounds creepy, but then God brought Romans 10:12-15 to mind. 

"For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”"

So then I start to realize how beautiful his feet had become to me, because of what they represented. He is sharing the good news of Christ and reconciliation actively through his life. He is serving those around him, seeking to be an encouragement for people. He has a heart for the Nations and longs to see the gospel reach the ends of the earth. He is willing to give of his time and resources to the work of the kingdom, not because he is obligated to, but because he has had the gospel transform his life. His feet are beautiful for no merit of their own, but for the divine purpose he has been called to.

The Mountain, The Ocean, and The Storm

We were made in the image of God, we share His attributes and are able to learn more about God and ourselves the more we learn about these attributes. Self exploration, in my opinion, is very valuable and even vital to our relationship with God, but I don't think it is the only exploration we need.

While doing my daily devotions on fear I realized that I didn't know what the fear of the Lord meant. I was pretty sure that it wasn't spending every moment cowering in fear, because that would be an unproductive use of our time that we could be serving God. However, the other day I ran a crossed a phrase that really helped me understand this ambiguous term "fear of the Lord". Worshipful fear it is in Psalm 2:11 in the Amplified Version.

This is when it clicked it is the same idea as the feeling climbers have towards the mountain, surfers have for the ocean, and storm chasers have for the storm. Ask any climber if they love the mountain and they will without a moments hesitation they will say yes. Now as ask them if they fear the mountain and they will reply yes just as quickly. It is this idea that even though they love and respect the mountain they also know that it isn't a thing to be trifled with and death is a real possibility. This is the same for the surfer and the storm chaser as well.

There are stories all the time of people who flippantly engage with the mountain, the ocean and the storm and they end up injured or worse. We even hear stories of people who are prepare and understand what can happen who suffer these fates. The same is true of God when he is disrespected or disobeyed. However, with God there is grace and mercy and we love for it.

From what I can tell there is not one word that can describe this idea and the closest phrase I think I can get is "worshipful fear". This is how I now understand "Fear of the Lord". I may grow into a different understand at some point, but for now this is my understanding of it. God is to be loved and respected, but He isn't something to be trifled with.

Nature of Christ

As I have been cooped up for a couple months now because of the cold ans winter weather, my heart and soul has started to ache for nature. When I am surrounded by God's creation without human alteration or distraction that is when my soul truly feels free and I am able to truly fellowship with God. Beyond the inspired Word of God, and the testimonies of the saints there is not true display of the grandeur and the power of God than His pure creation.

Psalm 19:1-2 "The heavens declare the glory of God and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge."

As the winter drags on my heart grows ever more anxious to return to God's unaltered creation. John Muir once said "The mountains are calling and I must go" I believe that the mountains are calling for us all, because they want to share the good news of their creator as badly as we should.

So as I prep for more snow, my heart will be longing for where it belongs, communing with The Creator in His pure creation. But as I wait for that time I am thankful that I am able to take refuge in his unfailing word and remember the truths that He has shared with us to help us live our live.

Fighting All the Wrong Battles

Today for my quiet time I read 2 Chronicles 20:17,

"‘You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the LORD on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.’ Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, and the LORD will be with you.”

This got me thinking why were the people of Judah afraid? Well to give a little context their enemies were bearing down on them. I would say that is a reason to be afraid, possible annihilation. The thing is that it isn't their battle to fight and God has already told them that he is the one who is going to defeat their enemies. He tells them that the only thing they need to do is to stand firm and hold their position. First thing I though is silly Judah why are you freaking out God clearly says He's got this all you have to do is stand your ground. Then I let it sink in and I ponder further.

Do I ever plan and fight in battle that aren't mine to fight or that have already been won? Sadly I do. The biggest example that I can think of is my own salvation, it has already been bought and paid for, the battle is over. But do I live as though its true? Or do I still try to live up to the perfect law of God on my own? Do I worry about how to be good enough compared to the perfection of God? The answer to both is yes I am fighting a battle that was never mine to fight.

This might sound trivial, it did to me at first, but then I started to reason out the ramifications. If I am wasting all my energy on battles that don't need to be fought or don't need to be fought to me I count myself out of the things that God has actually called me to. When I am so consumed with being perfect on my own accord I often don't feel worthy to share Christs love and don't feel about to be a light in this dark world.

Today has been quite the day of revelations. This one in particular, if I can live by what I have learned I will have the energy and confidence to really play a part in the will of God.